Alternative to Toilet Paper?

FIRST THINGS FIRST – I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE TP PANIC.  JUST TO BE CLEAR

Secondly,  running out of toilet paper?  It’s a tough situation, but that doesn’t mean you should call 911 about it.

Apparently the people of Oregon weren’t heeding that advice, because the Newport Police Department had to post a warning on their Facebook page, writing “Do not call 9-1-1 just because you ran out of toilet paper. You will survive without our assistance.”

They even offered helpful advice on alternatives, such as “Grocery receipts, newspaper, cloth rags”, or even the good old Sears catalog.  They point out that Mayans and Colonial Americans would use corn cobs, while old sailors used rope soaked in salt water.